Some years ago, I heard the words 'BE EARTH' as a direct, loving instruction from Mother. At the time I felt called to gather the women in sacred circle for a series of ‘B’Earthing Woman’ Retreats, where the invitation was to b’earth ourselves as Her, awakening to the Feminine and a deep intimacy with Life.
I am reflecting on B’Earthing again now, as this is right where I find myself, moving with the power, depth and grace of birth, this time birthing into the ground of Her in a wholly new way.
I wish to share this tender and powerful song of birth with you… (https://www.facebook.com/olivia12332/videos/2000201420029361/UzpfSTcxMTgxMzU3NToxMDE1NjI2MDgxMjA5MzU3Ng/)
It touches me deeply as I meet wave after wave, shaking, roaring and quaking in the descent through every layer into the ground of Earth. Birthing Her. Tears roll, body vibrates until I collapse, again and again. So deeply exhausted, as though I've been labouring for lifetimes. 'I' cannot do it anymore, and what a gift that is. Here I find Life moving sweetly in deeper surrender and trust, without agenda. Silence holds through the intensity. I am in awe at the power of Her, this force that burns me to the core and brings me to my knees. I bow in humility and deeper love. Birthing into innocence, I find myself moving like a wide-eyed child, taking her first small steps in an entirely new way. Just the beginning of a many steps ahead. So deeply grateful for Life. What else are we here for if it is not to merge the vast Love of our Heart intimately with the body of Earth?
So here we are beloveds, standing at a time where to BE EARTH is more crucial than ever. Matter Matters. Deeply. It is time to fully embrace this as Reality so that REAL change may occur on the planet.
We are being asked to anchor into Her, to surrender to God as the Feminine, to merge with Her as all inclusivity. She is demanding our attention and our deepest surrender to the Womb of the Earth, to birth Her in our sweet animal bodies to become Truly Human.
In that, we must agree not to grasp anything, to descend through the birth canal of fear and pain to be born as Pure Innocence itself. Yet we cannot enter Her with any preference whatsoever. Only a full YES to Love. Here, we are offered the greatest responsibility, a responsibility to hold ourselves in Silence, in Love. No blame. No projection. No turning away. We can only meet Her power with the hands of our Love wide open, birthing ourselves in Love, not fear.
Can we yield to the unfoldment of Life, without opposition, without conclusion or disagreement? Can we let go of the steering wheel and let Love hold us? Can we let Life happen entirely from the Ground of Being without grasping out of fear or lack?
This is the invitation. To rest in the pure acceptance and love of everything, all the way to the ground. This is no easy feat as it requires a deep dedication to Love, to directly and lovingly meet the fundamental fear that arises in the dream of separation.
We must hold so strong in our Love, Compassion and Silence that we carry ourselves home to the Mother, deep into the Ground. What awaits us is the most creative, natural sweet unfolding of Life from a place where we’re no longer looking for confirmation or a right to be who we are. Pure innocence.
In humility, I offer myself in this unfoldment, to be with You through the pains and the fears that arise, to offer a space for us to hold each other as we hear our Mother’s Calling, to discover great strength and courage through our vulnerability and commitment to a True Life.
I pray that we come together in the deepest willingness to meet ourselves, all the way to the Ground. That we relax into the body of Her, opening to the flower of Life and it’s blossoming. That we greet ourselves in our wholeness and discover the Reality of Pure Presence, Power and Innocence.
in Love & tenderness
19 March 2019
(picture: Layla May)
So many of us are in a rush, to do, to get 'somewhere'. We run ahead of ourselves, unable to be here fully now and trust in life's process and timing. The feeling that something is 'wrong' and why haven't I got 'there' yet. But where is 'there' when there is only the here and now of this moment? What if we were to put down our bags, rest and be here now fully present with what 'Is'?
Can we be courageous enough to Be, to trust in the process of Life. To know we are ever-evolving as Love, that Life itself is the Guru, the satsang, the teacher?
I know it sounds cliche, but we are exactly where we are meant to be. What is happening in life is not personal. Nothing is happening to you, it's happening in You, as Consciousness. There is no person 'waking up' in each one, rather Consciousness is awakening through all its forms. To put it simply, there is Reality and there is fantasy... Reality is what is here and fantasy is what the mind thinks about it! So, the invitation to freedom is to rest in the Reality of this moment.
To stop however is to feel. It is to feel whatever it is we may be avoiding in the running ahead of ourselves, to some future moment, dream, desire.... the 'all will be ok when I get there' fantasy. Rarely are we present with what Is. The thinking mind is usually running towards something in the wanting or pulling away from it in fear.
I remember some years ago feel utterly exhausted and the words coming like a call to God, 'can I just stop now?' I had been on the spiritual path for years, the longing to come home was deep, though somehow I felt it was all up to me. I had always known that I was here to serve, but I just thought 'I' had to do it. That I was responsible for moving my life, rather than life moving me. With grace, this was seen (what a relief!), the 'doer' was collapsed and gradually this misunderstanding dissolves more and more in Love, but I sometimes still find myself in doubt, questioning the manifestation....
What I am doing? Am I on the 'right' path? Why does not life look how I’d like it to? It helpful to know that doubt comes to confirm me in my knowing. The deeper knowing is that Life is perfectly scripted for my evolution. That I must meet whatever the experience of discomfort here and the doubts and questions, life's ‘wobbles’, are coming to work me out of those beliefs, to bring me Home. This is the necessary 'cooking', where Love burns the layers of misunderstanding in our system. Our responsibility is to allow it, feel it and embrace it, rather than avoid these uncomfortable moments - the confusion, the difficulty, the worries, the pain... whatever it may be.
We have layers within our layers; each will open and be revealed when ready, like a flower opening to the warmth and light of the sun in alignment with nature’s cycles. We must be willing to allow the flower of awakening to reveal itself in Love’s timing.
May we open and blossom as the unique, beautiful flowers we are and emit our sweet fragrance.
Deep love to you friends xxx
'A tree that does not dance with the wind is a tree that snaps. The strength of the true arrow lies in its capacity to give itself to the 'wobble', to the curve of the feminine. What a birth-day it is when the duo are in divine marriage within.' Sri Saraswathi Ma
I am writing from the ashes. Over the past week I have been burning in the fire...literally! I had an unusually busy week, the week before last, my cycle shifted gear and I bled early, on day 1 of a doula course I was attending in London. Unable to stop, surrender, rest and receive during the winter of my cycle and after experiencing much emotion during the course, I was exhausted; I returned home spent. I had a friend coming to stay so life’s fullness continued. This body speaks quickly. Within hours the burn of cystitis arose, lasted for a few days, which led to a kidney infection that had me in bed with a fever for 2 days. Uncomfortable, yes, but a necessary cleansing process; clearly waking me up to an aspect of my Self that wanted my attention; an aspect that is ready to go under the microscope, ready to be examined. There is no such thing as illness, only consciousness speaking. So, as I emerge from the ‘burning’ phase, I have been enquiring and listening deeply as to what Love wants to communicate.
I can see clearly now that resistance was speaking; a fight, an opposition, a refusal or inability to accept something in life. This is, in effect, the creation of an inner war, resisting what Is, which of course creates friction and tension. Coincidentally, I broke the flushing mechanism of my toilet a few days before the cystitis began in a fight with the tight fitting lid of the toilet! How beautifully and precisely consciousness speaks; and what wisdom is received when we are able to slow down and listen. :)
So, I am sitting with ‘resistance’, diving into it as I meditate. The words ‘resistance is futile, you will be assimilated’ pop into my head, a blast from the past; the Borg from Star Trek offering me their wisdom. Could there be some Truth in their words? Yes, of course; Love speaks in so many ways. The invitation here, to surrender. There is no use in fighting. Resistance is showing up, ready to be investigated, absorbed and integrated into Love.
When we think of surrender, we think of letting go. Are they one and the same? Well, perhaps a little. For me, surrender is deeper; it is a giving of my Self fully; an inward dropping, offering, bowing down to the Love that I am. Ultimately, we must all discover what it is to surrender; it is an inner experience that cannot be fully described with words.
It is one thing surrendering to bliss or joy or any other pleasurable experience, but how do I surrender to resistance?
Although it feels like a contradiction in terms, I am willing to dive in and see, so I offer myself to it; I drop into the feeling, the sensation, and ultimately, the discomfort. Immediately, there is a contraction, an aversion to the resistance; my right shoulder contracts and I notice the mind creates a distraction; a technique to avoid fully feeling the energy.
Before I distract myself entirely, the question comes, ‘why am I resisting this’? The clear message - because it is uncomfortable and because the mind is judging it to be wrong or not ok somehow. The thinking mind is divisive, it is always separating; like/dislike, comfortable/uncomfortable, good/bad, right/wrong... This is the position of the mind, its job is to categorise, to order, to separate. In Truth, in Love, however, there is no division, no separation, no duality. And since I am That, I cannot separate resistance from myself; it’s all me.
So where to go when there is resistance to feeling resistance (or any other uncomfortable feeling)?
As I continue to allow everything that arises, without expectation, viewing the resistance from the eyes of compassion, slowly, the layers of misunderstanding dissolve back into Love. The resistance begins to be seen as energy or sensation arising in the Stillness and Peace that I am, not separate from, or an obstruction to Truth. This does not happen overnight, nor does resistance disappear overnight. It is a process. It has taken lifetimes to build up the dense layers of misunderstanding, so who knows how long it will take to dissolve all the layers? And more importantly, who is the one who minds? Only the mind minds! We have layers within our layers; each will open and be revealed when ready, like a flower opening to the warmth and light of the sun in alignment with nature’s cycles. We must be willing to allow the flower of awakening to reveal itself in Love’s timing.
No matter what the experience, I am eternally grateful to feel and allow the fullness of experience as it arises; knowing that it is all bringing me Home. It is a moment to moment offering of my Self to the fullness of Love moving through me; opening to a deep intimacy with Life. Is it easy? No. Does the mind have tactics to avoid this? Yes. Is it worth the investigation? Absolutely! Why? For what we resist, persists!
Resistance and turmoil arises when we have forgotten our True Nature. If there is an inner war, there is also an outer war. Turmoil in the world arises out of turmoil in the thinking mind; it is an external expression of misunderstanding. The thinking mind is the Collective Mind. We cannot separate them; there is only One Mind of Consciousness. Therefore, it is our responsibility to purify the thinking mind; to give attention to what is arising, to see the misunderstandings, to be willing to face the personal Self whilst looking from the eyes of Love, right here and now. It is a continual ‘yes’ to Love, to Truth. We must be honest with ourselves, we must be in integrity; to be in integrity is to be heart-centred. We must allow every-thing, without denial or negation. Peace and freedom begins here, within us. As within, so without.
So, the invitation is to tenderly and fully meet with Awareness every experience that life brings and surrender to it. In this surrender, there is a ‘Great Undoing’, the gradual undoing of all the ‘knots’ of misunderstanding in the rope of Existence.
To embrace the light and dark, the emptiness and fullness, the totality of what it is to be human; to be willing to go into the cave of the heart, is the hero/heroine’s journey. All that is required is willingness, sincerity, an open heart and a deep longing to come Home.
Resistance is futile. Surrender is the invitation.
in Love, ever deepening